Latest entries from kimee.blog-city.com

Weight Watchers Week 2

kimee — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:07:00 GMT

So Blue Cross Blue Sheild reimburses you up to $150 for Weight Watchers a year. So I figured I would try it again. The first week was just weigh ins. I knew what the number was, I've been hovering around that number for years. So this week when I got weighed in I lost 3.4 pounds. That's pretty damn good. Especially since I had my mom's lasagna this week. Plus cake, plus going out to dinner on Sunday.

I did write things down this week. I think that was a big help. I even wrote down the Reese's Tree I had for breakfast one day :) I know terrible thing to eat when your on a diet & even worse knowing I LOST WEIGHT, even though I ate that. But that also shows that I can eat crap & I don't have to deprive myself of the good stuff, but in moderation. So we'll see. It might be weight loss by situation. A loss is a loss & maybe that will inspire me to keep going after the situation clears up. Let's hope so.

Saw (T) on Sunday

kimee — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:56:00 GMT

So I sent a mass email out to a bunch of people that was in my address book. (T) was one of them. He responded & wanted to take me out for dinner (after I just finished eating, of course!) I haven't seen him in 5 years. We went out & got dinner (Papa's Bar & Grill, MMmmm). He was blown away & treated me like a Rock Star. It was funny he was like a little fan boy saying "I can't believe I am sitting here with Kimee". Yea I am kind of a big deal :)

So he drove me home & when I logged on I found an email thanking me for the night :) He also emailed me Tuesday to see how my day was. How sweet! Exactly what I want. So what's the problem? Age? Timing? I don't know. We'll see.

I don't blog enough anymore

kimee — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:37:00 GMT

I used to blog 3-4 times a day, now I am lucky if it is 3-4 times a month :( Why is that? I've been a lot busier & although I am at the computer just as much as before, I don't have the time to blog. When I blog I was mostly trying to figure things out, or vent, or record things that happened. I don't really have a lot going on at the moment. Well maybe just a few... I am going to try really hard to blog more.

(S)'s Mom

kimee — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:31:00 GMT

Tonight I went to an old, old friends mom's wake. It is scarey to think that we are old enough that something like this can happen. I mean, it can happen at any time & it almost happened twice to my dad. I can't even imagine putting myself in her shoes.

It was shocking to me that she asked if my phone number was still ______. I said why yes it was! Granted it's an easy number but she hasn't called that number in over 20 years. You don't know how much you effect someones life, or what impact they have on you. We were really close in High School. (S) kinda replaced (R) in HS. (R) went to a different HS than me.

It was really good seeing her, but not like this. :(

New Vision Board for Fall 09

kimee — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:37:00 GMT

So I created a new Vision Board for Fall 09. I am not sure I can do the apple picking or the hay maze but I will try.

Having a better time, ready to go home

kimee — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:13:00 GMT

Things got better. I woke up & went to breakfast but then went back to my room & fell asleep. I slept through lunch. Dinner was awesome. I made an actual scrapbook page. I don't really get it. I mean I get it, I just don't get it. It's a lot of work for only a picture or two. I am really ready to go home though. Beautiful location though.

Not having a good time :(

kimee — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:51:00 GMT

I am in the White Mountains. It is about two weeks past peak but it is beautiful. The ride up here was great. I am at a scrapbooking retreat. I don't scrapbook. I brought card making stuff but I don't have all the materials. I have stamps but nothing to clean them with. I brought an embosser but don't have the sticky ink. I don't have any glue so I can't put anything together. I don't have a cutter or any inspiration. I just want to go home. People are kinda friendly. They seem to know everyone. I can't get in. I try! I talk & then someone talks over me & takes over the conversation & they forget about me. This happened three times yesterday.

So I am trying to just enjoy myself. They have a pool, but it is a walk away & it's cold. I don't want to come down with amonia! As it is my roommates like to sleep in the cold, I froze all night. I don't want to drive home in the dark. So I will wait until morning.

The Cricut is out of the box

kimee — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:36:00 GMT

The Cricut is out of the box! For those of you that know the story, this is pretty remarkable!!!

Long weekends should happen more often

kimee — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:23:00 GMT

Getting stuff done. Well was a slug Friday night & Saturday (was sick Saturday). Today I went food shopping did tons of laundry. I have WAY too much clothes! I am looking at 11 laundry baskets with folded clothes & that is not counting the clothes that are hung up, or the ones folded inside my closet. I seriously have too much clothes. But in my defense they are different clothes for different things.

Most people change their clothes when the seasons change. For me it's not the same. In the winter, it is 97 degrees in my house, so when I come home from work I immediately change into shorts & tank top. I can't put the shorts away. I have dressy stuff then casual stuff I wear all the time. Just have a lot of it. But for now it is all folded & put away.

Think I am getting sick

kimee — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:16:00 GMT

Have a sore throat :( Feel like the last two days were wasted. Long weekend :( Only good thing about that is I still have two days off, so it's ok I pissed away the last two. Friday I watched TV for the first time in forever. Saturday I went to a birthday party & went to bed, woke up with sore throat :(

I'm going to try to accomplish something today. I would love to break open the Cricut today.

I'm not supposed to be here

kimee — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:40:00 GMT

I feel stuck. I feel like there is more for me to do. Last week I got a glimpse, brief glimpse of something that wasn't real, but still felt pretty good. Now I feel lost. Wasted. Hopeless. Stuck. Drained. Hopefully this will improve over this long weekend.

Joy Diet: Week 3 - Desire

kimee — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:38:00 GMT

What do I want? I like this one :) Much better than Truth. At the moment, I want to win the lottery. I am $1000 short on bills. I want the phone to stop ringing. I need an extra paycheck. I will fix it, I just need a little time.

I want to use my Cricut finally. I want to get rid of this stuff in my room. I want my workshops to be successful. Well they are successful, I just want more attendance. My workshops are almost costing me money to run. I want the special I am running 50% off will help.

I want to go to the gym. (R) has been after me about this. We need to do this together. I want to connect with someone on a romantic level. I want someone to like me for ME and not be interested in me for one thing. I want a vacation. I want less stress. Less stress.

I want to open a creative store. It's something that keeps coming up. It is possible. Others have done it, I know I can do better. I would be helping others while helping myself. I know this. This is what I want. But it's hard to think about doing this when my workshop attendance isn't very good. That is the things that I want.

Pack rat spills over to digital

kimee — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:03:00 GMT

I have 103645 emails in my gmail account.

It was worse...
You are currently using 5755 MB (78%) of your 7370 MB.
You are currently using 5572 MB (75%) of your 7373 MB.
You are currently using 5460 MB (74%) of your 7370 MB.

Working on it!

Week 2: Joy Diet - Truth

kimee — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:30:00 GMT

I liked last week - doing nothing. This week on the other hand, tell your self the truth. I don't know if I can handle that! Haven't they ever heard of Joyful Ignorance? :)

The truths that came out almost immediately this weekend made me physically sick. Perhaps it's detox, I don't know, but it wasn't pleasant & it certainly wasn't joyful.

I don't think I understand the objective really. The book says to Create and absorb at least one moment of truth each day, and ask these questions...
What is the painful story I am telling?
Can I be sure the story is true? Is this story working?
Can I think of a story that might work better?.

My truths were "I have diabetes" - something I have not allowed myself to think about. I always said I have Insulin Resistance, which I did have, I just know that it has progressed to diabetes. I have the lab slip in the car, I just don't want to know. Well I couldn't know at the time, I had a mission. Can I think of a story that might work better? Yea I could lie to myself some more. That question seems to be like finding a truth & then creating a lie. I don't get it. I know I can reverse this, I just need to loose some weight. Which I can start to do.

Another truth was "I'm a pack rat" - something that was not a hidden truth. Oh yes, the story is definitely true! Can I think of a story that might work better? I'm not a pack rat & I know exactly where everything is? So where is the truth in that? See I don't think I am getting it.

Another truth was "I'm fat & I'm afraid to even talk to anyone new" - The truth is I am fat. I hate the term BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). Dating is tough when you are bigger. Well now-a-days people hook up all the time but I think it is worse when you are bigger. The few times I have gone out, I was asked up to their room a few minutes after saying hello. Um NO! Why don't you at least by me a drink first you jerk! I am big but I am not desperate. That pisses me off & puts me on guard.|

So those were a few things that I was feeling this weekend. The "doing nothing" got easier, perhaps because the truths made me sick & it was easy to just lie there. Here's to a better week.

Joy Diet: Week 1 - Nothing - Mid week check-in

kimee — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 03:48:00 GMT

So this week I have been practicing taking time for myself. This is part of the Joy Diet. Now a little background, I've been running around like a mad woman for so long that this is extremely hard. Everytime I check my email or look at my phone, someone wants me to do something for them. I am used to working two full time jobs. When I wasn't working I was in school. I never stopped. Stopping seems foreign. And to be honest with you, I believe I am healthy because I have never stopped. The rest of my family have stopped & well it's been really difficult to get back going again. I don't want that to happen. I need to keep going. However I realize the need to stop a little bit.

Some thoughts in the book were...

"We shape clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" - reading that took my breath away for about five minutes & then I realized that the bigger the pot the more stuff you can fit in there. Which isn't always a good thing. .

"Going on vacation is just adding a different somethings to our schedules for a brief period. Vacation - act of vacating. Of leaving, loosing touch with, letting go of." I need to vacation in my room a little bit :) Just let things go. So it's been a week of schedule adjusting & giving myself permission to let others wait for me. To just catch my breath. Of finding my own rhythm again.

Getting busy again

kimee — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 05:17:00 GMT

Today I had a 12 hour day in work, of my own choosing. I am crazy. I am just so busy. I used to complete Super Woman & do twice the amount of stuff in an 8 hour period. It is not because I am slacking, I'm not. I don't know what the problem is. I certainly hope I have more speeds than just two Hyper & Slug. There has to be a happy medium, then again my motto has always been "Nothing in Moderation". All or Nothing. This adjustment period is huge. It's not only with work schedule, it's with values & priorities as well. This is going to take a little longer to adjust than I had originally planned. But I think I need to go through this process to do the things I need to do.

Phase Two: Implants

kimee — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:15:00 GMT

Today was Phase Two of my dental implants. I wasn't sure what to expect. This is what I got...

This is what the next step in my implants look like. No this is not a picture of me or my actual teeth, just a picture I found online. I wanted to show what the next step looks like. I will keep them in for one month, then I get impressions & then two weeks later I will have teeth!! Well at least in the top. I need an additional $2000 for the next phase. No pressure.

I can not wait for this to be over with. Good things are starting. Finishing one chapter of my life & moving on to other things. It's all good.

Getting inspired

kimee — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:49:00 GMT

I have been checking out the other partipants of the Joy Diet. Getting inspired by there creativity. I just want to get out there and play. I also need to focus too, or else I will never have room to do anything.

This weekend went by fast, but I had more of a weekend than I did in a long time. Getting used to the not having to do things. I mean I have stuff to do but there isn't any deadlines. I am coming to realize that I NEED deadlines & perhaps a little drama. It's like my puppy (14 months old), he is a monster & always runs upstairs at the mention of taking a shower or the minute he hears you preparing for the shower. He loves to drink the running water from the tub. So where am I going with this? Well he won't just go away & always sneak his head in the shower when you are taking one, causing a mess. We realized that if we just give him what he wants he will go away. Kinda like the drama. If I don't create my own drama, drama is soon to find me & I probably won't like it as much as my self inflicted drama.

This weekend was awesome. Saturday was mad rush to go food shopping. We had nothing! I mean the last can of tuna fish was gone from the pantry. I was firm when I said I am not going food shopping without having a menu planned. I did not want to by any more food & still have nothing to eat. So Saturday I made two trips, one to S&S & one to BJs. Then I went off to a dear friends house for her book launching party. Then I watched baseball & basically took it easy. I think I was in bed by 10pm. On a Saturday!

Today I woke up bright & early & went to the MIT Swapfest trying to get the power cord for my laptop. The guy I was going to get it from, well I couldn't find him. I asked a few people for a Dell laptop power cord for the C series & they gave me one. Problem is I got it home & it was only 70 watts. Apparently I need 90 watts. So the laptop still fires up, it is just a little slow. I also took care of a lot of laundry today. Tomorrow I go to the dentist for Phase Two of my implants. I should have my two top teeth by Christmas! Excited for that. Not sure about the money part, but it will all work itself out.

Joy Diet: Week 1 - Nothing

kimee — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:43:00 GMT

So September 18th kicked off the Joy Diet. I had gotten really into the idea since I just graduated & have been suffering from "whattodoitis". Coming home & not have to read chapters upon chapters or brainstorm to come up with a paper last minute, I have been finding myself, somewhat lost. I thought this was the perfect thing for me. I had bought the audio book for a couple of reasons. First, I couldn't find the book, in real life stores or online. Secondly, I've read enough these past couple of semesters. I like the audio, except when I want to quote something from the book.

So I had created a big post on Friday, the first day & was almost ready to hit the save button when the battery warning on this laptop went off, I had less than 10 minutes worth of battery. I looked to see if I was plugged in, only to find the wire was completely frayed. Something is always a crisis in my life, seriously. Now because I have been in a funk of sorts since I graduated, I haven't been on the best schedule. I come home & do things, but the thing is "I" control what I do. This was really overwhelming. So the way I dealt with it was to shut down & get headaches. This will pass but it was kinda annoying. So I was coming home, getting a headache or vegging out to the Red Sox. But I did have a deadline. Something I needed to do by Sunday (today).

So my laptop was dying, powercord completely broken & I had a deadline. I quickly transfered all my files to my external hard drive incase I would never see this computer again. It was a race - in the end, it took 9 minutes to transfer the files I needed. With one moment to spare. You know I could really do without this much drama in my life, but you know what, I proved to myself that without the drama, I ama slug that gets headaches.

So I got the powercord (kinda, not the right one) & I met the deadline. But I think the powercord was a sign. I don't think it was conicence that it happened on the first day where I was supposed to do nothing. It kinda MADE ME do nothing. I wasn't up until 2am checking email or doing the Facebook thing. I slept & started my Saturday even earlier. Which was a good thing because I crammed a lot into Saturday.

Both Friday & Saturday I took moments to "do nothing". Friday I watched TV that I needed to catch up on. I also went to bed earlier. The plan was to just lie there & but I wound up drifting to sleep. On Saturday when I woke up, I woke up but I laid there for about 20 minutes before actually getting up. Now I had a VERY busy day but I allowed myself those few minutes to do nothing. I have to say it felt weird but it was definately worth it. I took more time when I had to drive about 40 minutes away. While I drive I usually call people to catch up, this time I shut my phone off!

Going into the actually week, I will definitely sneak some nothing time in. One good thing about having the audio version of the book, I can't sneak ahead. :)

19 days post school

kimee — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:12:00 GMT

It's been 19 days since I graduated. Well since I walked. I actually had to turn in an assignment the next day. I won't officially graduate until January 2010. That's when the degree gets conferred. Anyways, it's been 19 days since I walked on August 29th, 2009. Our graduation was held at the Sheraton Hotel in Boston. It was kinda likea home coming of sorts since during High School, our VICA (Vocational Industrial Clubs of America) competitions were held there. Good times, good memories.

So lots of good stuff about the day. Lots of bad stuff about the day. Mostly good stuff. Ted Kennedy died earlier that week & all of Boston was shut down. It also rained a lot. Now normally I would LOVE the weather but not when I am going to get official pictures & stuff. (J) & his husband (R) was there. My family & (R) could not make it :( I understand circumstances, but it still hurt not being able to share a moment with them. I really wanted a picture of my two best friends together with me & my graduation cap & gown. I will have to recreate it when I have my graduation party in January :) That's when it will be official.

But that's the thing. I walked on May 1, 2009. I still had a full semester (8 more classes left to go), but at the time they were not certain they were going to have a Fall graduation. I could not gamble on not having a graduation. This was too important to me. So I walked in May. Now they always have graduation the second week of September. Of course this year they had to be different. They scheduled graduation two weeks early. Graduation was held the LAST DAY OF THE SEMESTER! So because I finished that day, they could not confer the degree. If it had stayed the second week in September I would have my degree in hand. It's a conspiracy against me specifically :) HA HA. Well sometimes it feels that way.

Nice ceremony. Was done really fast, only about 130 people graduated. Went out to eat with (J) & his husband (R) afterward & had the best lunch ever. The Captain & Coke tasted soooo good. I had waited a long time for this celebration. It was kind of overshadowed by the TV coverage of Ted Kennedy's funeral. Weird. Last time I graduated with my Associates degree, my graduation was trumped by another event that had people glued to the TV - 9/11 :(

So after 19 days, I know it's going to take a lot of time to rebuild some of the brain cells that I killed studying useless stuff. I have been less stressed & Ihave been trying to keep myself busy. I now have clean laundry & have made plans with friends. It's going to take some time to get my life back but I am slowly working on it. Next step is clearing out clutter & going to the gym.

Angel Cards - FOCUS

kimee — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:09:00 GMT

Shuffling Angel Cards for a little distraction & to just checking in. I was shuffling them & half the deck fell out of my hand, the card right on top was FOCUS. Point taken. Just had to quickly share.

1.5 days left

kimee — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:08:00 GMT

I have 1.5 days left of college. Tomorrow will be my last class. Thursday by 5pm, all online classwork is due. Until then I am in freakout mode. This is a list of what I need to accomplish today.

ART4194
- Create Template with dummy text & publish to a site - DONE
  http://kimeepower.freehostia.com/art4194/Week3/Page1Dummy.html
- Create 3 pages based of that website with
  - Navigation - DONE
  - Rollovers - DONE
  - Sildeshow - DONE
    http://kimeepower.freehostia.com/art4194/
CMN4251
- Self-Assesment (2-3 pages) - DONE
- Speech Handout - DONE
HST4202
- Lincoln Research Paper - DONE
- Election Research Paper - DONE
- Discussion Questions (8) - DONE
- Final Questions (6) - DONE

No Pressure there! I can do it! Look for DONE stamps later today!

Disconnected by not blogging

kimee — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 02:12:00 GMT

I feel so disconnected kinda. Writing things down in my blog used to be a necessity now it's something I barely do. So much has happened. So many things that the pureness, the moment, is lost. The reason I sound so whiny & needy & bitchy here is because I usually post in the heat of the moment or shortly after. I get the emotion & the intensity of the moment, well as best I can. Not for comments from others telling me to grow up or shut up and deal but for me to get it out & for me to deal with it. Since I haven't been posting, I feel like it's lost. It's becoming harder to process because I don't have all the information, if that make sense.

34 more days!

kimee — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 01:28:00 GMT

I need to play a lot of catch-up. In my blog, in school, in work. Everything. 34 more days until I really put things into perspective. Too bad the Blogathon was tomorrow. I might post a few things in the spirit of the Blogathon. :)

50 more days of this bullshit!

kimee — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:20:00 GMT

They cancel my class with a days notice. Once class is canceled but I have yet to receive an official notification. They won't buy back my books because I didn't get them there. For the last two semesters books weren't ordered in time or they got the wrong book or excuse after excuse, so I took it upon myself to get the books on my own & now the class is canceled. Who's fault is that? Seriously. INCOMPETENCE!!!

You know how I HATE online classes. Well since two of my on campus classes were canceled now I have all but one class online! Awesome way to end. After all this time you would think that they would get online classes right! You get access to the class Monday morning at MIDNIGHT (not a time to start cracking), then you gotta get the book (cause god forbid you get the book early & they change the book or cancel the class all together), so you order the book Monday & by any luck you get the book next day if you are fortunate to live in the area. If you don't then you are screwed, 2-3 days shipping? So because Northeastern doesn't have any normal classes anymore it's all RUSH RUSH CRAM, 4 or 6 week classes, you have to read 10 chapters in one week, but wait you don't get a week to do the work, you gotta read, understand & post answers to questions by THURSDAY, yes that is one 1/2 days to cram & answer questions. Oh but wait there is more! You have to "discuss with your classmates" by Saturday. SO you have to log on more than once a week & bullshit with others. Class participation is almost a 3rd of your grade!!! I don't want to talk to others! We are supposed to learn from one another. Hello, how do I know that "Suzy" or "David" knows what they are talking about. No ask me questions, let me answer them. If this was a REAL class, I would be sitting in the back taking notes while you TAUGHT, not talking to my classmates!

Summa Cum Laude with two semesters left to go. I lost that status because of all these stupid online classes. How can I be an A student in class but a C student online?? Online classes expect way too much from you & you are already behind the eight ball because of the whole schedule. One day to read. You just skim. It's bullshit. My Associates Degree was a quality education, my Bachelors is just a joke. 50 more days. 50 more days.